Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
