I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
