Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
