exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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