And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
