i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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