He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
