dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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