the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
