I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
