Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
