Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
