i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
