no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
