Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
