my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
