I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
