I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
