I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
