so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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