he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
