Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
