I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
