She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
