Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
