i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
