that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
