How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Everclear isn't food dammit
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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