well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
