Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
