I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
