haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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