Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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