oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
