Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
