We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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