you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
