we have officially mastered the walk of shame
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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