she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
