She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
