I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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