I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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