I want to stick my p in your. b.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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