i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
