She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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