You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
