Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
