So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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