you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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