Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
